See 'nuclear_bomb' for more !
From: David Palmer
.------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| H O W T O M A K E A T H E R M O N U C L E A R D E V I C E |
'------------------------------------------------------------------------'
If you enjoyed building the transporter device I recently described, you'll
really love this one - it will make you an even bigger hit at parties.
1. .--------. Visit your local junk yard and get a lead box or if you
|========| can't find one, use an old coffee can.
| |
| ------ | Obtain 107kg of weapons grade Plutonium. This is readily
| Coffee | available from the Russian Mafia.
| ------ | Wash your hands after handling and don't allow children
| | or pets to eat it). Store the Plutonium in the can.
|________|
2. ______
____|[____]|____
| |
| |
| | You'll need a metal enclosure to house the device.
| | Any common variety of sheet metal can be bent to the
| | desired shape as can a metal briefcase but DO NOT use
| | aluminium foil.
| |
| |
|________________|
3.
.-:##:-.
/ |##| \ Arrange the Plutonium in two hemisphere held 3cm apart by
| |##| | rubber cement.
\ |##| /
`-:##:-'
4.
_.-""""-._
.' `.
/ .-:##:-. \ Pack the outside of the Plutonium with a thick layer of
| / |##| \ | gelignite. If you can't get gelignite you can used TNT
| | |##| | | packed in Playdo or any modeling clay. It is acceptable
| \ |##| / | to use coloured clay but there's no need for anything
\ `-:##:-' / fancy.
`._ _.'
`-....-'
5.
______
____|[____]|____
| _.-""""-._ |
| .' `. |
|/ .-:##:-. \|
| / |##| \ | Fix the structure to the inside of the metal case using
| | |##| | | strong glue such as SupaGlue or similar. This must be a
| \ |##| / | firm bond to prevent accidental detonation resulting from
|\ `-:##:-' /| vibration or mishandling.
| `._ _.' |
|____`-....-'____|
6. ______
____|[____]|____
| | Attach an RC (radio controlled) servo mechanism as used
| | in model aircraft and cars to the case and fix a small
| __ | plunger to the servo.
| /MM\ |
| \WW/ | Remote detonation is achieved when the plunger strikes a
| | detonator cap. These can be found in the electrical supply
| | section of your local supermarket. A good brand to look
| | out for is "Blasto-O-Matic".
|________________|
You are now the pround owner of what used to be known as an "Atom Bomb".
Theoretically the device works when the denotated TNT compresses the Plutonium
into a crital mass. This critical mass produces a nuclear chain reaction
similar to the domino effect (named after the disasterous domino incident in
Hiroshima in 1945 in which thousands of people died). The chain reaction
instantaneously produces a massive thermonuclear reaction commonly known as a
10 megaton explosion.
See 'cartoon' for more !
/\
/ \
| |
|U |
|S |
|A |
/^\ /^\
|||==||| o__o
||| +||| |/\|
|+| |+| |\/|
| |+ | | |/\|
| |==| | |\/|
|_|__|_| |/\|
(/ /\\/. \\) |\/|
(/()///\)\;)\) |/\|
_((/'/ //(='\)(\\))_ |\/|
(( ( (/( /) \) ' \) ))|/\|
___(( (( ..( '+))() . )) ))__|
___/_______________________________\______
jro
////\ ((((
/( o o O-O-)
\ o/ \- /
/\|/\ () /\|/\
// ' \\ || // . \\
========================
"It's a beautiful launch, Dr Benzine. Now, you
were saying that these so-called "protesters" to
the Saturn Probe are really a bunch of idiots,
because if they wanted to bitch about something,
they could be complaining about the rocket exhaust,
instead of a little harmless plutonium aboard the
space probe...."
888 888 d8b
888 888 Y8P
888 888
88888b. 888888 888888888 .d88b. 88888b. 888888 88888888b.d88b.
888 "88b888888 888888 d88""88b888 "88b888888 888888 "888 "88b
888 888888888 888888 888 888888 888888888 888888 888 888
888 d88P888Y88b 888Y88b. Y88..88P888 888888Y88b 888888 888 888
88888P" 888 "Y88888 "Y888 "Y88P" 888 888888 "Y88888888 888 888
888
888
888
_ _ _
| | | | (_)
_ __ | |_ _| |_ ___ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ ___
| '_ \| | | | | __/ _ \| '_ \| | | | | '_ ` _ \
| |_) | | |_| | || (_) | | | | | |_| | | | | | |
| .__/|_|\__,_|\__\___/|_| |_|_|\__,_|_| |_| |_|
| |
|_|
88 88
88 ,d ""
88 88
8b,dPPYba, 88 88 88 MM88MMM ,adPPYba, 8b,dPPYba, 88 88 88
88P' "8a 88 88 88 88 a8" "8a 88P' `"8a 88 88 88
88 d8 88 88 88 88 8b d8 88 88 88 88 88
88b, ,a8" 88 "8a, ,a88 88, "8a, ,a8" 88 88 88 "8a, ,a88
88`YbbdP"' 88 `"YbbdP'Y8 "Y888 `"YbbdP"' 88 88 88 `"YbbdP'Y8
88
88
88,dPYba,,adPYba,
88P' "88" "8a
88 88 88
88 88 88
88 88 88
ASCII Character Codes:
p = ASCII 112
l = ASCII 108
u = ASCII 117
t = ASCII 116
o = ASCII 111
n = ASCII 110
i = ASCII 105
u = ASCII 117
m = ASCII 109
Capitalised:
P = ASCII 80
L = ASCII 76
U = ASCII 85
T = ASCII 84
O = ASCII 79
N = ASCII 78
I = ASCII 73
U = ASCII 85
M = ASCII 77